Having the courage to say No!

Recently I was having a conversation with a good mate who made it sound like I was really talking to myself. His story has elements of truth in it for all of us in that it he spoke honestly of people in his life who just seemed to take and not give.

He knew that I had recent experiences of such people and the fact that they tend to think that you will always be there for them, to help them out and support them when the chips are down, but they never manage to help or support you in return. This could be in live or running.

It shouldn't make a difference if those people are friends or loved ones, if they claim to care and class themselves as close to you, then they should need no encouragement or prompting to get in touch and say hello or support you.

I've learnt the hard way over the past few years that this behaviour is not acceptable and that those people just riding on the backs of others are not welcome and should be cut lose.

Sure it will hurt, particularly if you love them, but the quicker the pain is inflicted, the quicker the pain is over.

Dig deep, rid yourself of negative energy suckers and move forward.

Running together - sans energy suckers. Stride for stride on a life changing ride!

The Magucians advice!

It's amazing how someone can know so much about you without you actually revealing anything to them. 

I've returned to writing for the first time since parting ways with my muse (and a girl I truly adored) over 6 weeks ago. In that time I have not been motivated to write anything even in a professional sense. I have however been extremely angry and channeled the anger into my sport and boxing with great results.

This morning I spent with my magician, who is also my favourite massage therapist. Not only did I get a two hour massage, but we did our standard yoga and general therapy as part of the session. 

She is so good that she can pick just by looking at me what has been going on in my life. She picked the fact I was angry at a women these past few months, she picked I felt lied to and played for a fool, she picked I had been boxing in anger and proving just how good she is at what she does, she actually named the girl by name.... Now to anyone who doesn't know her gift this would seem alarming, but I've spent enough time around her to know that she knows what others don't.

She picked I hadn't been writing and suggested that it would good to channel my anger into creativity again. It really is quite phenomenal how people like this exist and then come into our lives when we need them with a unique perspective. 

It's sad that I'll never talk to the girl in question again, and certainly life has changed and after hardships and disappointment we become harder. Today was just another piece in the puzzle.

Channeling anger is good- vent it out than keep it in and you'll amaze your self.

Running together (while channelling anger and venting), stride for stride on a life changing ride! -- Sean Muller

Pushing the boundaries

This year being the year of no women for me, I've now decided to do something completely out of character (or to help mould a new character) each week going forward. 

This week I've enrolled at a boxing gym and am quite excited - while a bit nervous as I contemplate my first bout in the coming months. My ab strength will have to improve dramatically but this can only be good as it will improve my running and swimming in having a stronger core and also to absorb the body blows. 

It's not like it's a world title fight or anything like that, but still it's little things that help to push me out of my comfort zone and assist in the hardening process with the flow on effect of hopefully some six pack development and stronger running and swimming.

All of this can only be good in the long run and get me experiencing things I haven't done in the past. I'd be interested in hearing what others are doing to extend their comfort zones. 

Running together (while pushing the comfort zone limit), stride for stride on a life changing ride! - Sean Muller

Change, growth and running angry!

February already - where has time gone! 

2015 is a year of change and growth. Just because people say they care about one doesn't always mean it's true. I'm truly tired of dishonesty, flakiness and people telling lies when I'm just played for a mug all the time. 

A friend shared the following wisdom with me -'Sam you're the kind of bloke that others walk all over before they get to their destination.' Fair call - hand on heart I'm soft, but in running, training and life I'm hardening. This year is a year of no women - they have just brought trouble to me and so I'm ignoring them and focusing on getting harder and stronger in life and running!

Running together (while ignoring women), stride for stride on a life changing ride! -- Sean Muller

2015 - the future

So after some time away from here I’m back today.

2014 was a strange kind of year where I felt so weary (mentally and physically) at the end and was glad to see the back of it. I always endeavour to give as much as I can in my running and personally in relationships as I take the view that many people just don’t have that ear of interest factor in their lives (a couple of friends passing also reinforced this).

I’ve now found I was just destroying myself in some respects. Between business, my running and fitness and numerous mentoring programs I was just tired. I mean how many times would so called friends say that they wanted to catch up or that they would call, only to hear nothing for months. The fool gets back up and contacts these folks time and time again only to bang his head. This fool aint going to be doing that any longer. 2015 is a time where I have been feeling a little more selfish. It is time to get physically and mentally stronger. Learning to say no is indeed an art that I am learning fast.

The hunger to run has returned again (hell I may yet take on another marathon). I’m happier with 5kgs of extra fat on me. Acceptance also has come around some things in life and knowing that is very liberating in itself and provides power to pursue other avenues in life.

While I have resolved to spend some more time on self-development in 2015, I’d be keen to hear about other unusual running or fitness resolutions for the new year.

Running together in 2015 (while being more selfish), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

Acceptance

Sometimes in running or in our lives in general things just don’t pan out how we think they will.


Sometimes we put in a huge block of training and come race day we just don’t seem to be able to bring things together and pull it off. Other times still we line up at events grossly undertrained, coming back from injury and heavier than we were at other times of peak fitness and manage to pull out a PB or run a blinder. This happened to me in my running career for the second time on Wednesday of this week.

Life is a funny thing that way and I’ve learnt now not to place too much hope and expectation on things as I seem to get the best results when I don’t plan at all or have expectation of an outcome. By not having lofty goals in sight it takes a lot of pressure off of things and both in running and life we are able to be more natural and take more out of the situation.

Inter – relationships in life are always dependent on more than just ourselves and we can only really influence what we can influence and no further. What the other person or persons is thinking or doing is not for us to try and comprehend. If those around us don’t accept us as we are then they are probably not worth having around.

On most occasions there will be another event or shot at things (sometimes much better than the one that we originally were pushing for) and the quicker we move on to that next chapter the more we will be able to cram into our otherwise very short lives.

Running together (while focussing only on what we can influence in life), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

Stripping naked to raise funds for athletes

Every so often a once in a lifetime opportunity comes along to do something completely unique which will also help out someone else.

My training group SWEAT Sydney recently took the decision to fundraise for elite Australian runners who don't receive enough financial support by posing as a group for a 2015 calendar. While elite athletes have done this sort of thing in the past in Australia, this is the first time that a grassroots training group has taken the decision to pose in a tasteful art calendar in Australia.

The calendar has received rave reviews from across the world and being offered for sale now via www.sweatsydney.com.au . Support unique initiatives to help out up and coming runners more of which should be done around the world!

The wonder of life

I have no right to question or try to understand easy persons journey whom I come across, nor is it my business how they will get to their destination. My only focus should be my own path and lending support to others if they falter.

When to chase and when to hold back!

Sometimes in life when things just aren’t happening it’s time to pickup your surfboard and your runners and head off to somewhere where it is happening. Sometimes also this has been lurking your mind for sometime and yet you haven’t acted, but then just as suddenly you speak with a high respected mentor and they set things straight for you in just a few short weeks and suddenly you have a plan to move forward and stop with the inaction (as with running, sometimes in life you need folks to make decisions for you).
For the longest time I have been labelled the ‘nice guy’ and the person that people can depend on and even walk all over, this I’ve now found has been at the detriment of my own personal gain and growth and so I’m going to be setting that straight over the next 12 months. This is a really important time for me in my plan with regards to life and running. It’s about taking back and taking opportunities.
Take opportunities in your running and life – don’t get walked on, push back and ultimately chase your dreams because no one should be holding you back from these especially if you are single and still relatively young like me.
Don’t die trying to achieve something but then also know when to pull back and quit to.
Carpe Diem!
Running together (while chasing and achieving your dreams), stride for stride on a life changing ride!—Sean Muller

Love your roots - do them well!

Where have you been Sam? This has been one of the messages that I've received of late with regards to my blog. Life and running has been hectic what with my mate now fully released out in to the the dating world of sydney again. It's great that he seems to be having so much fun, which leads me to come back to my writing as this has always been a source of sanity for me. It's something I'd dropped recently in favour of other things.

It's clear that of late efforts I had been focusing energy on were in vain and now it is time for me to become a little selfish and focus only on myself and my training for a bit.

I'd love to have shared some more creativity in this, but some have mocked my creative efforts of late and thought it funny that something that was created should be a source of a joke amongst others.

I don't play these sorts of stupid games and rather leave others to play them on their own. Life's too short for any of that BS.

In other news I just got the news that I get to extract some revenge next year. This time I go wiser, older and with a different approach that is tested. More later.

Running together (while not being made a mug), stride for stride on a life changing ride. -- Sean Muller.

Hardening up in running and relationships

People confuse me- most of all women confuse me. In life like in running you try to do the best you can do. You do your best to do good, share good times and work through bad (even extremely bad) times with folks and yet sometimes you still land in the poo for all your good intentions.

The past few days I have been laying low and out of the firing line. It’s disappointing and sad when things that you've shared with others at times (and at times when you've been vulnerable) have been used against you.

It’s ugly and it becomes messy and in the end there are never any winners. It’s equally hard when you could use what you know about that person to hurt them to, but you can’t bring yourself to do that and then you get called soft by someone else you counted as a friend who maintains that you brought it on yourself through not being hard enough.

Hardening the body is so much easier than hardening the heart. I want to be tougher and harder, but I struggle to know where to begin. It’s weird as I see these sorts of behaviours everyday but can’t bring myself to replicate them. Seems like laying low is best for me at this point. At least in my own company and running on my own no one can hurt me.

Running together (while laying low for a bit), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

Running, fitness and the ‘pickup’

Today was the culmination of a number of months’ worth of work in helping my mate to get fit again following his marriage breakdown. I’ve mentioned before how he’d let himself go in the past and was now finding it tough to get back to his previous form and shape.

He’s got there through a combination of running and shifting around 15kgs and is looking pretty good to boot. His self-appointed goal now is to embark on a series of ‘pickups’ as he terms them over this winter. Looking pretty good he now seems to have the choice of a plethora of women and a new found confidence to boot. This seems to be the prevailing scenario facing all men in their late 30s and 40s in Sydney.

I view all this as highly interesting as watching him in action today it is amazing that even at his age where one might expect that there would be some honesty and a reluctance for any sort of game play and nonsense, there was plenty of shifts in the truth. Surely there was plenty of time for that in the past when they were younger and didn’t really care about who or what they hurt with those crazy games. All of this isn’t really for me and he has tried hard to goad me into it, but I only observe with mild amusement.

Crazy how all this has panned out. It’s great to see his confidence improve so much, but at the same time I feel as if I have created a monster who is not thinking about others feelings, but then again as has been pointed out to me ‘it takes two to tango’.

Running tother (while helping others to improve their confidence), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

Running and relationships

I was having a chat to a friend this morning at the gym about how running has been affecting his relationship. He was having a whinge that his new girlfriend could not understand why it would make him so happy to head off on a Sunday long run and come back much saner and happier than before. He works a pretty stressful job and so for him (like many of us) his Sunday morning long run is a form of therapy in helping him to just be alone inside his own head and relax. He comes back revitalised and ready to face the following week.

I pointed out to him that I wasn’t the best example to be asking these sorts of questions of since my track record with women is nothing to brag about and so that largely means that I am free to indulge in exercise in whatever way I want to, but it also means that I don’t have all the other associated pleasures attached with a relationship in my life.

In previous relationships I have found that it was healthy to have a partner who shared my passion for keeping fit, but that the largest thing that came in the way of things was often the fact that we ended up being so competitive with each other and she couldn’t stand the fact that sometimes I was a bit better than her at things and vice versa she was a bit better than me at other things. In hindsight those relationships were not right for me and to be truthful one always has to feel that things are right in a relationship prior to moving forward with things.

Two very strong competitors may not always work long term. Short term they may bring out the best in each other, but long term they may end up doing more damage to their relationship than good through the competition.

Similarly, as with my friend, a relationship can’t really work if one side is just doesn’t condone (or worse still is jealous) of their partner’s exercise needs/regime. This can only lead to problems in the long term.

Running together (while hopefully with an equally active partner), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

Learning from different coaches

While I love my current training group SWEAT Sydney and have improved massively since training with them, I always think it's also a good idea to keep an eye on what other coaches are saying and preaching around the world.

I've mentioned Bobby McGee on here previously as someone that I trust apart from my own coach Sean Williams. Bobby has a wealth of knowledge available free of charge on his website (many others charge vast sums for this information). Anyone looking to train and succeed at a high level in running or triathlon could do well to follow the methods of Sean and Bobby.

Running together - while training under champion coaches. Stride for stride on a life changing ride! -- Sean Muller

What's with being good enough for second in life and love?

It’s weird how things occur in life. Sometimes we make the best plans in the world only for none of them to come to fruition. This at the time is frustrating and can lead us to call into question all sorts of things. That said we have to experience and taste the lows in order to experience and taste the highs.

For me some weird things have been happening of late. Twice now I have had ladies approach me after turning me down some years ago for not being cool enough or good enough in their eyes or flat out too boring. They are both now divorced and claimed – boring old Sam was suddenly good enough for them. I flat out turned them down as I’m nobody’s second best and certainly not someone waiting around crying into milk.

What is the world coming to when now people feel that it is okay to revisit someone that they have turned down and that they will be welcomed in with open arms as they embrace their ‘second choice’. Why did I post this in a running blog? Well for no other reason other than that I’m running the other way from girls like this. I’d rather remain single for the rest of my days than be second.

Running together (while not settling for second best), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

Trail running at its best

It has been brought to my attention that I haven't yet managed to plug an upcoming trail race that I am assisting with through this blog.

If you are an Australian based runner you really should be giving some thought to coming down and running the Southern Highlands Challenge in the NSW Wingello State Forrest on 31 August. The event is bound to be the best trail event in Australia. Come on down and join the fun!

Keeping charity for those who need it

Today I learnt a brand new word from a close friend – Boondoggle which literally means a project which is a waste of time and money- something often just kept going for the sake of it. It benefits no one and is silly but keeps getting money thrown at it. This is particularly apt when I think of many people who go around funding their own athletic pursuits under the banner of raising money for charity. It’s all fine and well raising money while completing events which you pay to get to under your own steam, but if you then use this pretext to get others to put forward some of their hard earned cash in an economic downturn to fund your travel and entries then that is where I have big problems. That sort of behaviour is just plain unethical and I have no qualms in calling it as I see it.

Keep charity pure and don’t muddy it with personal requests.

Running together (while keeping charity pure), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

Small things with big meanings

I've never been someone who has hung onto medals or awards that I have attained. I think that mum has a box of school trophies and such lying somewhere at home, but today when I was cleaning out some of my closets I came across the medal below.

Not sure why I chose to keep it as it certainly isn't the biggest or most prestigious race that I've ever entered. In fact the 9KM that I completed that day in 2006 would just be merely a recovery run in my current fitness. It did however signify a time when I was still massively overweight and in need of drastic help to overcome my weight problems. It was the first step on my journey to current fitness.

A small 9KM and an even smaller medal on the road to a huge journey of change. One couldn't have existed without the other.

What small things mean the most to you?

Running together (while remembering where I came from), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

Love, happiness and new life on the run!

Today I had the great fortune of spending some time with some incredible people who I train with. Each of them inspire me in so many different ways and it is always good to hear about other people doing well in life, life and in their careers.

One of them confided that they have had a promotion at work and are destined for bigger things, another is on a new journey to study something completely different  and the final one confided that she and her partner are going to be expecting a new little one in about 6 months time.

This is such great news and I couldn't be more thrilled for all of them especially the one expecting her first child. New life is amazing and especially when it comes two such lovely people who are clearly so much in love. I’m a massive softy when it comes to those sorts of things. Being both runners, they are going to be such great role models and parents for the little one.

What fantastic news to receive after a massively positive training session with mates. If this sort of happiness and joy comes to all of us at some point then we are definitely in great shape as a human race.

Running together (while receiving massively good news about friends), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller

A true puritan!

Occasionally I do some book reviews on here about books that truly leave a mark on me.

I recently finished reading ‘The Ghost Runner’ by Bill Jones. It is the story of John Tarrant -an English runner in the 1940s, 50s and 60s who was banned for life from competing in the amateur era due to the fact that he had received a small sum of money during a previous life as a boxer.

Tarrant fought this ban till his dying day and never is a more riveting story told of one man’s complete and utter devotion to the sport and winning despite his efforts never counting towards the record books or any trophies being conferred. I was captivated from first page till last.

At one stage he was good enough to make the British Olympic team but wasn’t chosen on the basis of his ban. Imagine being good enough to win marathons and ultras outright but knowing that your records will never stand.

He even at one stage broke the 100 mile world record as well as holding the 40 mile world record. All while as an unofficial athlete. Last but by no means least, he ran and came 4^th in the Comrades marathon of 1968 where for the first time he was not the only unofficial runner as the race was for many years considered only to be for the white population with other race groups forbidden from entering.

I love an underdog story and hearing about runners who compete merely for the purity of the sport. In the ultimate act of sportsmanship, his mate Dave Box who also ran Comrades in 1968 and is listed as finishing 4^th in the records presented him with his gold medal from the day on Tarrant’s deathbed.

A true tale of commitment and dedication to the sport.

Running together (while fighting injustices in sport), stride for stride on a life changing ride! – Sean Muller