Long distance running can be a very lonely sport. It is not for nothing that the term ‘The loneliness of the Long Distance Runner’ is used. By the very nature of things unless you belong to a dedicated running club you can’t always call on the services of a friend or partner to step out with you and run.
I find that the longer the training session, the less enthusiastic friends are about it. A phone call promising the joys of a 2 or 3 hour run on a Sunday morning are more often than not met with less than pleasant language telling me where I can go. Granted these individuals are very often suffering the effects of a night on the booze – something I no longer contend with since I decided not to drink anymore.
So we do what we have to and head out regardless.
But what of relationships and potential life partners?
It is my firm belief that one’s life partner has to either share the same passion as you for an activity or sport, or at least be very supportive of the reasons why you like taking part in said activity.
One of my mates, now in his 40s, who used to run some very quick marathon times in his 20s (PB: 2.25) was talking to me the other night and mentioned that sometimes he wishes he could find the time to train as he did back then and try and get his times back down into the 2.30s (he still runs 2.40 ish on little training). His priorities have changed though and with a few kids and a wife he can’t just up and run as he used to in the past. This is fair enough and although his wife does not run she does let him still run and run a limited amount of races each year which he is happy with.
I know that it can be hard for singles to meet fellow runners outside of a running club (although I have briefly dated a lovely girl I met out running one Sunday morning), but there now seem to be dating sites and agencies actively trying to match singles with similar interests in fitness activities. One of these is FitnessSingles.
This gap in the market will hopefully enable running singles like myself to find someone they are compatible with. These sites differ from traditional dating sites in that people signed up must actually be active in said sports. This alleviates situations where one might go on a date with someone who says they like running or athletics, when in reality the only thing they like is to perve over athletes on television while sitting on the sofa guzzling wine and pizza. – Sean Muller
"The Loneliness..." (Alan Sillitoe) was one one of my favourite stories as a kid, and then it was made into a film with Tom Courtney as the runner - fantastic. Sillitoe dies earlier this year, a writer who marked my past !
ReplyDeleteAS for the relationships, i have a friend who works in a bookshop, and he had a guy come in asking whether a book on the psychology of runners existed. My friend, who is also a runner, said as much and that he wasn't sure, but why did he want such a book? The answer - this guy had been training intensely to complete a Marathon. He had become obsessed and his girlfriend left him over it - he then didn't do the Marathon and was completely depressed and demotivated !! I always thought this would make a good basis to a story/film.... !!
My real long distance running career (ultra, 100km) took off when i separated from my wife !Running was my moment of solitude, self-analysis, and relief ! i didn't turn to the bottle, but my running shoes!!
all the best
all the best.
So true mate. I have seen countless people come to running only to find that the spouse is not keen. The more obsessed they become the bigger the wedge between them grows. I identify with your story about relationship splits - for me I also turned to the runners instead of the bottle.
ReplyDeleteYou have summed it up nicely in the solitude, self analysis and relief.
Thank you for reading my blog - you are a good man!
Keep running and spreading the spirit of the run.
Sean